Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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