Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize