I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How external is "for external use only"?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
