never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
