she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
