Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
