Swine flu. Run for my life!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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