3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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