I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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