those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
