I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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