I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
