I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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