I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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