Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have post one night stand depression
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
