thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
