all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
