i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
