so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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