You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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