Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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