Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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