its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he was CRYING into my vagina
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
