hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
