Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
