at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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