U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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