Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
