I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
