my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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