It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
