Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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