Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
