508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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