Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
