Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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