so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
