this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
