Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize