I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize