you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
