So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Michael Bay diarrhea
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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