do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
