Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
