I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize