my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
