do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
youre lurking in front of me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
