I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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