did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize