Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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