I met the friendliest cop last night
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
