saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
