Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
