you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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