Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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