If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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