My friends, they love my intelligence
look no pants
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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