Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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