Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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